Ceremonies for emotional and spiritual healing after abortion and pregnancy loss.
Abortion and pregnancy loss often have a painful effect on physical, emotional and spiritual levels. Even when the original decision feels right, there can still be deep waves of guilt, shame, grief and confusion.
Healing life after this has happened takes place in what I call The Cradle of The Great Mother – a loving field where we’re held, seen and gently guided back to innocence.
In this article I share three simple ceremonies for healing after abortion. They’re designed to help you enter this compassionate and gentle healing space, to ease distress, sadness, shame and grief, and to lay a path back to self-compassion, trust and peace. The soothing salve of The Great Mother supports your psyche’s natural healing process to unfold.
Firstly, I recommend listening to my podcast episode ‘Healing Emotionally & Spiritually After Abortion’, where I talk through common emotional and spiritual experiences after abortion, how shame and self-judgement can show up, and how to begin meeting yourself with compassion.
You can listen before, between or after the ceremonies – let your body choose. Go at your own pace.
How To Work With These Ceremonies
These three ceremonies are designed to take you into The Cradle. You’re encouraged to try them and adjust them to suit you personally.
Keep them simple and give yourself time. You’ll be co-creating the ceremony; Spirit meets you in your intention. How you sense or name Spirit – Great Mother, God, Source, Love, Life – is personal to you. Trust what feels true.
Do the healing ceremonies as many times as you need. They are suitable for:
- women who’ve had abortions
- those who’ve experienced miscarriage or stillbirth
- men who have experienced associated loss
- couples who wish to honour and heal together
Healing After Abortion Ceremony 1
Create your Sacred Space, choose some appropriate music (suggestions below) and set your intention to gently ease into The Cradle of The Great Mother.
If it resonates, read the following introduction out loud or in your heart:
“Life exists beyond time and our physical world. The Soul lives on beyond the death of the physical body. When the spark of potential life on Earth is ignited at conception, a Soul is attracted. When this spark is not kindled, the Soul goes elsewhere. It is not harmed. There is no judgement from Spirit, and the ever-evolving greater circle of life continues.”
(Feel free to adapt this language to suit your own understanding of Soul, Spirit or Life.)
Next, get comfortable. You may like to sit or lie down, perhaps with a blanket. Play some music that feels soothing and spacious and allow yourself to simply rest. There’s a playlist below you can use if you wish.
As the music plays, imagine being gently rocked in the cradle of The Great Mother – a vast, loving presence that holds all of you, exactly as you are.
When the music has ended, notice how you feel. You may like to say a simple prayer of thanks and then finish. If you wish, you could also draw or write about your experience as a way of integrating the healing.
Healing After Abortion Ceremony 2
Soothing Your Connection With the Soul
This ceremony is for when you wish to go a little deeper.
Set up your Sacred Space and burn some incense – a soft, warm blend is helpful.
Set your intention to gently soothe and clarify your connection with the soul of the baby that didn’t come through in this lifetime.
Light a candle for them and a candle for yourself.
Get comfortable, play some music and place your hands on your womb (or lower belly / pelvic area if that feels better).
During the music, or when it’s finished – whichever you prefer – speak from your heart to the soul. You might want to:
- share what was happening for you at the time
- express any sorrow, regret, anger or confusion
- offer gratitude for their brief presence in your life
- ask for forgiveness, or offer it to yourself.
You don’t have to feel anything in particular or sense a response; your intention and words are heard.
The Great Mother will hold you both throughout. You may feel the gentle rocking of Her cradle in the rhythm of your breath, or simply a sense of softening.
When you’re ready, close with a prayer of thanks and gently blow out the candles. You might like to say:
“We all come home to The Great Mother.”
Variation:
Write a note to the soul before you start and keep it with you whilst listening to the music. When it feels appropriate, you could burn the note and scatter the ashes in nature as an offering and release.
Healing After Abortion Ceremony 3
Releasing Self-Judgement and Softening Self-Punishment
Self-judgement and self-punishment gradually erode our light. The impact of external judgements from society, religion, social media and even friends and family can be painful – yet the harshest voice is often the one inside us.
When grief, shame and self-blame remain unprocessed, they can weigh heavily on the nervous system and body. Over time, this inner burden can contribute to physical symptoms, fertility challenges and a myriad of fear-based ways of being. For deep healing to occur, it is ourselves we most need to come to peace with.
Each person’s path to peace is unique. It can’t be forced or rushed. It’s a natural process that unfolds over time as we develop deep compassion for our human experience.
During this ceremony, you will once again be held in The Cradle of The Great Mother.
Set your intention to relieve yourself of self-judgement and begin to see yourself through loving eyes.
Sit or lie somewhere comfortable. You may wish to place one hand on your womb and one hand on your chest.
Gently invite the love of The Great Mother (or whatever word you use) to surround you. Imagine this love circulating around your body and permeating every cell, tissue, bone and organ.
Allow it to flow through your veins, around your physical body and out to the edges of your energy field, paying particular attention to your womb area, stomach and chest.
You may experience yourself in the Cradle, or feel wrapped in Divine arms. You may simply notice a softening, tears, warmth or nothing at all. All responses are welcome.
Breathe deeply and slowly as unconditional love melts pain on all levels, at its own pace.
When you’re ready to close, say a prayer of thanks. You might like to place your hands together at your heart and whisper a simple phrase such as, “I am willing to see myself with kindness.”
Learning To Trust Yourself Again
If you had an abortion, or feel your miscarriage was related to you not wanting a child at that point, reconnecting with the wisdom of your intuition and original decision is an important part of healing after abortion.
At the time, you made the best decision you could with the resources, awareness and circumstances you had. Honouring that part of you – even if you’d make a different choice now – helps restore your core strength and self-trust.
A gentle way to reconnect with this is to walk in nature with the intention of learning to trust yourself again. As you walk, feel your feet on the earth. You might place your hands on a tree to anchor yourself, letting its roots remind you that you, too, are a part of nature, of all of Creation.
The Yoga Nidra in nature (video above) is something you can do to start the process of feeling and being in your body again.
As you walk through the woods, notice how Creation continually self-renews, moving through endless cycles of life and death. You are part of this greater rhythm.
Healing After Abortion Downloadable Course – now available
For emotional & spiritual recovery after abortion – non-judgemental & non-religious. Resolve what’s looping round, come to peace with your decision and move forward with a deep knowing that all is ok.
