I want to set up the context for this episode because it’s so important that you know I’m sharing this from a place of love, years of experience working with women, compassion, understanding and no judgment.
My perspective is non-religious, non-dogmatic, and most importantly, comes from an experience of working with women for years in an environment of respect.
Respect for every single woman’s choice to have a baby or not to have a baby. Whatever we want to do with our bodies, is our choice. That’s what pro-choice means to me.
I feel that is very important to set up because there’s a lot of judgment in our culture and man-made organised religion, and it doesn’t do anyone any good, including the people judging.
I’m going to talk you through some steps that work – and I’m going to explain why they commonly don’t work until we look at what the stuck themes are.
Take good care of yourself reading and listening to this. Take breaks if you need to, and please know you’re not alone. Many women struggle with this for years alone, and it is my intention with this episode to reach you with some solid, grounded guidance to heal.
Healing After Abortion Audio Course
If you listen to the podcast and find you want to go deeper – I’ve created a
Healing After Abortion Audio Course.
It’s for emotional & spiritual recovery after abortion – non-judgemental & non-religious.
Through 9 guided audio practices and a companion workbook, you’ll resolve what’s looping round, come to peace with your decision and move forward with a deep knowing that all is ok.
Full details >
Here are the main elements to consider when healing after abortion:
Identifying What’s Stuck
Themes and beliefs can get stuck when we’ve had an abortion. So that is where we need to start in our healing process because if we try and do the other steps before, it doesn’t work. Our starting point is to tune into the body and feel into what’s the belief about oneself that means we can’t come to peace with what happened.
The common belief – 95% of the time is that we’ve done something that we think is unforgivable. The sort of thoughts women commonly have are ‘I’ve taken a life, I’m dreadful, I don’t deserve to have a life, I’ve killed a baby’. Those sorts of beliefs can run in our psyche and taint every area of life, and that’s what has us feeling like no matter how much we process the abortion or how much we try, the experience just loops around.
Once we identify what’s looping around, we then take our focus off healing from the abortion and work with the theme within our psyche; in this life, through our soul’s journey, and from any generational imprints.
Once we have dissolved the charge out of the theme (this can take anything from a few sessions to a few months), we can then look at the following elements.
Communing With The Spirit That Didn’t Come Through
We often need to know that that soul is okay, that they are not harmed in some way. I want you to know that every woman I have worked with to heal after abortion – the spirit is okay, they’re not harmed, and they’re often really relaxed.
Knowing that they’re okay often comes as a huge relief, and helps bring a sense of peace and completion to the experience.
Recalibrating The Body
At conception, our maternal instinct gets activated and there’s an alchemical process that prepares our body for gestation, birth and motherhood. If, say, there’s an abortion at eight weeks, you’ve got eight weeks’ worth of preparation in the body. So that process has started, but then it gets kind of cut short and the process gets stuck in the body.
So it’s really helpful to acknowledge that and do some deep, slow bodywork to allow for the completion of that somatically. This can feel relieving and it helps the actual physicality of the process come to a sense of real peace and completion.
Grieving
Having space to grieve with no time limit is helpful, and if your grief feels like it’s dissipating gradually over time, then that’s the natural process of it.
However, if the grief keeps looping around, then it becomes a trauma loop in itself, and that’s when we need to get underneath it and have a look at what the stuck themes are.
Self-Compassion vs ‘Forgiveness’
Forgiveness is banded around in the new age psychology world, and my experience of it is that forgiveness doesn’t really truly exist.
The message is ‘to heal, all you need to do is forgive’. However, that’s never worked for me or any of the people I’ve worked with. I’ve talked to my colleagues about it and they have come to the same conclusion – that forgiveness is not even really a thing.
What seems to be the reality of it is facing ourselves, with compassion and understanding, and processing any self-judgement. In addition to facing ourselves, we need to face Source / God / Core Energy / Universe / Creator / whatever word we want to use – with all that has happened, with all our fears about being judged, with all our doubts and beliefs.
What I’ve discovered is that 100% of the time there is no judgment from source energy – NONE – because Source is love. I want to get that across to you. There is never any judgment from Source. Once we experience that for ourselves, the self-judgement dismantles, all the distorted beliefs about ourselves dissolve, and we can truly come to peace within.
Energising The Womb Centre
We need to help our womb centre to re-energize because we’ve often pulled away from it due to the emotional, spiritual and physical stress we’ve been through.
So to re-energize our womb center means to sit back in our womb centre, to breathe back into it. We need to have a good amount of energy in our womb to help our cycle clear out debris; physically or spiritually.
We can do that by breathing back into our womb centre; simply put one hand on your heart and one hand on your womb, and breathe love down to your womb centre. Feel into the womb’s response, and keep going until your womb is full of love.
Further resources
I do hope this post and podcast were helpful for you. Please do share it with your friends, and remember that some women are so encased in shame about this that they don’t tell anyone. Talking openly about abortion, and supporting each other with compassion and no-judgement are also key to supporting each other to heal.
3 Ceremonies To Heal After Abortion
Miscarriage: 9 Guidelines To Heal Emotionally & Spiritually
Healing After Abortion Audio Course
For emotional & spiritual recovery after abortion – trauma-specialised, non-judgemental & non-religious.
9 guided practices + a companion guide PDF to resolve what’s looping round, come to peace with your decision and move forward with a deep knowing that all is ok.
